Yes, you guessed it right – the best way to avoid problems later is to plan for those possibilities in advance.
It is much better to be happy in marriage than to have to live through it as a duty. Of course, at times there maybe things which seem tough, and one may wade through those troubled waters on the strong legs of duty, but it is hard for normal people to go on based on just duty.
There has to the strong joy in Krishna bhakti and if one has planned properly, chosen the spouse properly, then issues are fewer.
Prevention is Better than Cure
ISKCON has a Grihasta Vision Team (GVT), a group of certified marriage and family therapists dedicated to the health of ISKCON devotee marriages. Krsnanandini Dasi and her husband Tariq Ziyad is a member of the GVT.
One of the GVT’s strongest recommendations, which Krsnanandini advocates before anything else, is that both female and male devotees do everything they can before marriage to make sure they get a partner who is compatible with them in Krishna consciousness and in everything else in life.
They advise, “We like to encourage devotees to get at least ten to twelve hours of pre-marital education with qualified marriage and family educators who themselves have healthy Krishna conscious marriages,”
Krsnanandini says. “Examine what both of your motives are, what your goals are, and look realistically at your expectations of each other. What roles do you see yourselves playing? For instance, the traditional role of a wife may be to cook, clean and do the laundry, but what if she works full-time just like the man? It’s also important to learn good communication and conflict resolution skills, to deal with some of the baggage that both people bring from their families of origin, and even to discuss how you will manage your finances.”
There can be many such issues. Best to always keep in touch with your Counselor and seniors in devotional life while making your choices.
One important thing, specially for those who lived with parents and families all their life. Talk to parents, your close friends and those who care about you. They may not be devotees of Krishna but they know your nature quite well. They will be able to give you some idea on how much the lady or gentleman you intend to marry matches your intrinsic nature.
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare