Some may say YES and some may think NO.
Some say the right question to ask is – Will making a sincere donation help a person get married to the “right” devotee and lead a “happy” married life ?
Is there a practical benefit in making a donation to Marry A Devotee or will I just get some pious benefit or some spiritual benefit ?
Let us carefully read the points mentioned below before making any decision. Such a decision may play a big role in finding the right match for marriage.
The opinion of some wise people is that a good understanding of the points listed below can play an vital role; not just in getting married, but also impact your married life for many many years to come.
Let us try and ask some pertinent questions and look at possible responses to those questions. This is a process of guided introspection which has been known to benefit many people.
There seems to be much confusion in some minds about married life. Such confusions can wreck havoc in life.
Some of you would have heard of some couples going through troubles in married life. If the mutual understanding between the couple is absent, it causes so much anguish to all stakeholders. In some cases it is known to cause separation or divorce. This is such a tragedy and can be avoided by proper pre marital counselling. This is what we are attempting in a small way through these articles.
Married life is not sanyasi life !
However it is a gradual preparation to become renounced. Two words are key here - gradual and preparation
- A man takes the responsibility to take care of the financial, emotional & physical well being of a woman
- A woman also promises to support the man in every possible way
- Together they take the responsibility to take care in every way of the children they may have in future
Those who possess wealth or work hard to make an income have to learn to share the fruits of their hard labour (money) with the spouse and children
Those involved in family life are also encouraged to regularly donate to earn pious benefits & to gradually give up the desire to hoard & enjoy material pleasures.
- One has to adjust with the desires of the other members of the family & tolerate contrary ideas
- People can change their mind about their plans for the future. What was promised before marriage by the bride or groom may not be what they decide to do after marriage. How are we going to react to that ? Can we adjust with that ?
- Someone who wished & promised to live a simple life before marriage, may suddenly desire to live a more lavish lifestyle after marriage. Someone who wanted a strong career path may decide to live more simple & may choose to relocate. Some may resign from work when they have kids. Are we prepared for such changes in the mental state of the person we marry ?
- How will we react if others have views slightly different or contrary to our own ?
- Can we maintain a mood of tolerance and humility ?
A lot of pre marital counselling & strong understanding of each other's needs and aspirations is crucial in making the right choice.
There are some who say that married life is meant to train us to become more tolerant and humble.
It is actually a higher ashram than Brahmacharya. It is meant to be a progression in the path of spiritual life & prepares one to take up vanaprastha or sanyasa in the future.
A very important point : We can try to follow a high standard in our own behaviour and in our thoughts & actions & spiritual practices, however it is nearly impossible to impose those standards to our spouse or children. We can only encourage them and become a better example for others to emulate.
Running away from troubles is not the aim of a marriage. The aim is to learn how to tolerate troubles & still be kind & learn to transcend desires & grow spiritually.
Financial strength needed varies as per your needs & the needs of our partner.
If a man plans to marry a princess, he must be rich like a prince !
It is important to understand our own situation & choose a partner who fits into that scenario.
Two things are needed
- Accumulated Wealth or a Regular Income
- The willingness to spend that money for our partner & future kids, for the partner’s family & friends & for things which we may not normally spend on.
Yes it is free to use for all necessary services, but we recommend that you donate for your own benefit. If you read the rest of this page carefully, you will understand that by not donating you are putting yourself at a loss. You are missing out on a lot by not donating. Donors stand a higher chance of finding their perfect life partner.
Here are the things you can do here, even if you do not donate
- You can post your profile for free
- You can search for other profiles for free
- You can message other profiles for free
- You can send Spiritual Friend requests for free
- You can post your photos for free
- You can post your videos for free
- You can post your Daily Blog – Diary for free
- You can hide your Profile for free
- You can hide your Photos for free
Yes it works to your advantage and to ours too. Its a Win Win Solution.
Benefits for you are
- Other users get to know you better as they notice your profile as a Donor
- Your profile visibility usually goes up
- Donors report that they get more messages after they chose to donate
- Donors can easily message others
- People have more confidence in Donors generally. They become confident that this person has a bank account and is a “real” person
- We have been told by users that they think that
- Donors are more kind
- Donors are more serious about entering into a relationship
- Donors are financially secure
- Donors have the mindset to care and give and are better in married life. Married life is a lot of giving and adjusting in companionship. So regular donors seem to benefit from doing this
- So it appears that Donors stand a higher chance of finding a better life partner & we sincerely hope that they have happier marriages.
We are building a healthy community of married devotees who can interact with each other and get the benefits of Couples Counselling, Spiritual Sharing, Child Care and much more.
We pray that our Donors do better in life and are blessed by Lord Krishna and can continue to support us with donations for many many years to come, even after their marriage.
Please use this link to donate from outside India
From within India you can scan the code and send money using UPI or PayTM etc
How can Donating to this website, help me to get married and also be happy in married life ?
- It helps a person to get noticed on the website. Why ? Because we feature Donors
- Because others see that you have money to donate. Is money important for married life ? YES !
- In married life one requires money for many things – like buying gifts for the spouse (husband or wife), to go somewhere on a holiday, to offer good food, high quality ingredients to Krishna & the devotees & to have good prasadam.
- Personal wealth or Income is not important for those who live in an Ashram or for those who are Volunteers in an NGO. Why ? Because the Organisation will take care of their needs. But, both the husband and wife and children should be ready to live the simple life & if someone is not ready, then they feel like a fish out of water. In such a case, there is a lot of pain & suffering. Hence it is important to match the man and woman properly by understanding their needs & desires.
- Is it important to Donate a lot or is a small donation sufficient ?
- Small or big depends on your income & your disposable income
It is very important to know what is your Disposable Income & what is the disposable income of your spouse.
Probably it is more important to know this than the actual income. Let us understand it carefully.
- Suppose your income is 50,000.
- Your rent is 20,000
- You spend 10,000 for food
- Another 10,000 for travel expenses, fuel, entertainment & insurance & health
- You use 2,000 to repay some loans – EMI – mortages etc
- Then your Disposable Income is 50,000-20,000-10,000-10,000 – 2000 = 8,000
- Oh we forgot something – Taxes & Saving. Now out of this 8,000 you may wish to make some investments of 2000 & 1000 goes towards taxes,
- Then your real Disposable Income is 8000-2000-1000 = 5000 only
- So we see that someone with 50,000 income may have a disposable income of 5000.
- So it all depends on personal lifestyle & expenses.
If someone is able to Donate more in a month, this means that for that month they had more Disposable Income.
If someone can donate regularly, this means they have more Disposable Income consistently.
A person with more Disposable Income is usually more capable to manage additional expenses needed after marriage or when there are new additions like children in the family.
In the absence of sufficient disposable income, both husband and wife may have to work & we hear of terms like DINK – Double Income No Kids !
Yes, it is very important. The donation has to be sincere & the motive should be honest.
Do not donate more than your means and do not donate less than you can.
Let us take a scenario
A man who earns a modest income comes to the website MarryADevotee.com and wishes to marry a nice devotee girl. He registers his profile & gets attracted to a beautiful girl from a wealthy family & wishes to marry her.
He send her a friendship request, but does not get the attention he craves. He also writes to her but it appears that her interest is not as much as he desires.
To impress her, he donates a very large sum and chooses a donor plan. The donation amount is high for his income level but he continues with this plan for a few months, by spending less on his other needs & saving money.
That girl and her family, or another girl he is interested in may notice him & start communication with him.
He presents himself as a person with enough financial means
The girl becomes attached to him after speaking with him for a few weeks.
They get married, and she starts living with him.
In some cases trouble starts when he is unable to provide her the things she has been used to since many years.
Most people are used to a certain standard of living and cannot easily live in a different way. Of course when a person becomes very renounced this is possible, but in married life, this is not easy for most people.
In this situation the man and the woman both become sad, because their lifestyles and expectations do not match.
The man is at fault here because he tried to donate beyond his means and also tried to show that he was richer than his real situation. He should have donated less & been honest about his financial situation. This way he would have found a lady who was comfortable with his material situation.
The girl and her family also did not involve in proper due diligence about the man & his background.
They say Love is Blind but once you get married – It is an Eye Opener !
This is another common mistake. Sometimes we do not spend enough for the things which are important to us. This is a story that you may have heard.
A rich businessman buys a cheap watch when in fact he could afford better. In his line of business, it was very important for him to be on time for meetings. Once he was scheduled for a very important meeting. He reached the meeting late and lost the chance to win a business. Reason, his cheap watch misled him and he got late.
There is a saying related to employing people which goes thus “ If you throw peanuts you only get monkeys”
Let us look at a similar situation related to matrimony. A man earning a very large salary in an MNC, or a big businessman joins MarryADevotee.com and tries to connect with some good ladies.
He spends a few months on the website but he does not get favourable responses.
After some time he gets a few responses but he is not satisfied with the devotees who write to him. He wants someone more educated or more attractive or someone who matches his interests. In some cases his family is not satisfied with the status of the girl’s family.
He begins to feel that he is wasting his time and decides to stop looking for sometime
In this way he wastes his time and feels frustrated that he is getting older & is still unmarried.
Meanwhile many of the girls he thought were suitable for him vanish from MarryADevotee.com because they get married
Finally he decides to give a serious attempt to finding a life partner.
He donates a very small amount and becomes a Donor, but the question some may ask is – is it too little too late ?
Donating too much and too little are both unwise.
Let us continue the scenario of the rich man who donates a little, but a little late.
Even after donating, he does not get enough proposals which match his interest.
Why ? A few reasons
- He has become older & now the ladies he likes may consider him “much” older than themselves
- Some ladies look at his profile and see that he is earning well, has a good job or a business, but they do not trust what they see, because they see that he is not donating much
- Some ladies trust his profile & think he might be earning quite well & can provide well for their needs, but they doubt if he is “kind” enough
- Some ladies may trust his material accomplishments & may know that he is kind and charitable to some other causes, but they doubt his seriousness & commitment to marriage, because he is not "visibly" devoting enough time & energy & money for this matrimonial search.
So we see that in this situation, the man has created many obstacles for himself by delaying his donation or not donating enough to match his status and position.
So, our advice is this
Do not donate more than your status
Do not donate less than your status
Donate to things which are a priority for your life at that point of time. Time that has gone by cannot be bought back even after spending all the wealth that you have.
Usually people do not continue to donate to a matrimonial service like MarryADevotee.com after they get married. But they continue to donate to temples, goshalas, old age homes, feeding the poor etc all through their life. So, if marriage is a priority for you, kindly donate something to Marry A Devotee till you find a suitable life partner. After that you can, if you so desire, stop donating here and focus exclusively to other causes you like.
So, as the saying goes, it might be wise to strike the iron while it is hot. Put your energy, time & money into things which are your priority at the right time.
Perception is reality. People look at various things connected to your personality; before they decide on such an important event in their life. Marriage is serious business !
Your profile should be complete. Your photos, your dress in your photos, your posture, your chosen words in your profile, your donation; actually everything about you is a reflection of your personality. Keep it honest & sincere & perhaps this sincerity of purpose will attract the right person into your life.
Marriage is a very important event in a person's life.
The future of a man or woman and of the children depend on a lot of factors & the financial abilities of the couple are very crucial in so many aspects of married life.
Of course for those special souls, who reside in temples or religious organisations or in charitable institutions and whose lives are very simple, finance is not an important criterion.
For such people, their basic needs are taken care of by the Organisation and if they have desires for more, then it presents a fresh challenge.
This is a very important point to consider & may influence your marriage a lot.
Many people donate to other causes & do not have enough money to donate for a matrimonial service or do not feel the need to do so.
- Does this indicate that their Disposable Income after those Donations is not very much ? If this is true and they have very little left after donating, then how can they manage to maintain the family after marriage ?
- One scenario could be that they will stop donating to other causes after marriage & spend on the spouse & kids. Will that person be happy doing this ? Maybe, or maybe not.
- Another scenario could be that they will continue to donate a little less to those causes after marriage. In this scenario the future spouse and kids will have to adjust with lesser money and they may not be happy.
Any person who is restricted from doing something that they were doing for long, may not be happy with the change. Hence, when choosing a partner, we should consider this aspect carefully.
Your priorities will determine whether you donate or not.
Most people do not donate to Marry A Devotee after they get married. They usually spend their money in serving their family and kids and in donating to local charities & temples which they visit.
However it could be wise to donate to Marry A Devotee for a short time. If you make this Your Priority till you are married, then it may help you. Why ?
It is very important to understand two things
- My Priorities
- My Future Partner’s Priorities
We give our time and energy for things which are a priority for us.
If marriage is a priority for someone at a certain point of time, then they are ready to put sufficient time & resources into that endeavour
Anything which we achieve after sufficient effort, we will usually give it importance & value. In the past they used to have Svayamvara & this was a smart way to ensure that people found the right match.
Before discussing that, let us look at a scenario.
I need some help. I go to someone and take his services and help.
I know he is spending money and time and effort for this help that he gave me. Even though I did not get the exact results I desired, still I saw that he had to spend his money and his time to try to help me.
Suppose I do not offer him my heartfelt thanks for trying to help me and offer him some money or gift in exchange for the help he gave me, will I be doing something wrong ?
Will I remain in his debt because of this ?
Suppose I got the success I desired but the gift or donation I gave was too little, will this be fair ?
Is there some negative karma I will incur due to not being properly grateful ?
The size of my gift or donation depends on a few things
- How important the help was for me ?
- The effort or time or money spent by that person for me
- My own status and earnings and ability to donate
A poor man who has nothing much to give can offer a little and perhaps his debt is repaid but someone else who has a good salary or who is wealthy should ideally donate a lot more.
I can easily avoid to donate enough by avoiding it, or by portraying myself as less able or by trying to undervalue the benefit I got, and perhaps my deception may go unnoticed by others. However, higher authorities who decide my destiny, my karmic reactions may still notice this and reward or punish me accordingly.
Hence, it is best to be fair and generous if possible.
Marriage is a gift for a lifetime and our seriousness and gratitude for getting a spouse is also shown by our prayers of gratitude to the Lord & a sizeable donation to MarryADevotee.com
We suggest a Donation of 3-6 months of your Salary as a Donation - not as a one time Donation but in small portions if possible.
Of course what you donate will depend on your own desire & decision.
We have also heard one opinion from some - "If he is unwilling to donate as a show of gratitude after finding me on MarryADevotee, this means he does not feel I am valuable enough. In future, he may not consider my own service to him in marriage important enough also, and may behave with me improperly & unkindly and it is even possible that he may leave me or divorce me easily. I wish to marry a devotee who knows how to give value to the important things in life, and know how to express his gratitude properly. Thank you Prabhu"
In the past they used to have Svayamvara & this was a smart way to ensure that people found the right match.
- Many kings & princes would come and participate in a competition.
- Those who won & qualified in the test would then be brought in front of the Princess & she would choose one of them.
- The result was that the man would always give respect to the lady, because he did not get her easily. He would remember that to win her hand, he had to go through a lot of struggle.
- The Princess would also be very happy with this man, since she knew that he went to so much trouble to win her hand. Also she is sure of his wonderful qualifications, because he proved himself better than the others, before he married her.
A man could be very rich & could be using his wealth for a noble cause or spending it just to fulfill his desires. However, this does not guarantee that he will spend his money for the needs of his future wife & kids.If he is ready to donate sufficiently to find a good wife, and is also ready to spend his time for this – this might indicate that marriage is important for him.
Similarly, a lady may spend a lot of money for personal grooming, for pedicure, for beauty treatments etc. If a lady donates towards her attempt to Marry A Devotee – then it could indicate some personality traits.
- It might indicate that she has sufficient disposable income or has prioritised this above her other interests
- It might indicate that she is serious about marriage & is not here to gossip with many men
- It can show that since she is serious in finding a suitable partner, & since she has put energy & money into this effort, she may not break the marriage easily
- Giving to a Cause indicates a certain Attitude of sacrifice & kindness. Most people can give to their family members & dear friends, but to give to a Cause means there is more kindness than normal in that person. This kindness & sacrifice is a very endearing quality. Marriage to such a caring and kind lady is a great honour for any man.
We thought you would never ask !
Please donate as much as you desire and as frequently as you can. It is said by the wise that expressing gratitude makes us worthy to receive more. In giving more we receive more. Generally donors are chosen in preference to others by people who wish to get married. There is a perception that kind people often make better marriage partners.
- Some Ladies may prefer a man who has the heart and the money to donate a little a month.
- Some men may prefer a lady who is kind enough to take a little out of her expenses for the month and donate.
- Donating speaks much about your personality
- Your donation will help us offer this service to others
- Your donation can also be a token of your gratitude for getting the opportunity to use this service
- Kind souls donate to us even if they never used this service or did not benefit after using this service.
- This is the essential difference between a donation (gift) and fees.
- Fees are transactional – donations are a gesture of kindness
We humbly request donations so that we can perpetuate this service & also support other worthy causes. Some of the services which are more expensive have been offered as a token of gratitude to our Donors. We have made some levels for your convenience. You can donate as much as you are able to. You can donate more or less.
We continue to offer the basic services of Search and Messaging to everyone for free and our special attempt is to serve those who are unable to make donations because they are volunteers in various charitable organisations.
Thank you for making the wise choice to donate. This will benefit you greatly in the long run.
From within India you can scan the code below and send money using UPI or PayTM etc
Thank you for making the wise choice to donate. It will help you a lot in the long run.
Please use this link to donate from outside India
Thank you for thinking about donating and helping us. We believe that Donors receive better responses from others & stand a higher chance of finding the perfect life partner.
- We can use money you donate to improve the website
- We can use money to pay various service providers to continue the service
- Volunteers on the website need help to carry on with their life. Your donations help with this too.
- We also donate to worthy causes from time to time and your donations help us do that.
You can express your appreciation by words, time, actions or money.
You can offer to help in many ways as per your ability. Please write to us on the Contact Us form or Whatsapp +91-940-941-66-66
You may pay our many service providers directly rather than send money to us – this increases transparency, saves time and gives you control on how your donation will be used.
YOU CAN ALSO OFFER SERVICE TO OTHER CAUSES LIKE GOSHALAS THROUGH US.